Boiled Egg Debacles

I love boiled eggs. I like the yoke flaky and white part soft, not rubbery. I love to eat them plain or with salt, I love egg salad sandwiches and deviled eggs. I even like them during Easter after they have been dyed and the food coloring is on the egg under the shell. I have been battling with boiled eggs ever since I can remember because not matter what I do I can't make them right. You would think cooking boiled eggs would be super easy but it isn't. The perfect egg is just a myth. I have done everything I could - varied the cooking time and temperatures, put the egg in different temperature water, peeled the eggs right after cooking and I have also tried waiting. No matter what I do the white part is too rubbery or yoke too hard. The worst part, the absolute worst problem I have is when peeling the stupid egg. I can't get the shell separated from the white part and my egg looks pock marked.

Another problem with boiling eggs is the timing. I always forget them and overcook them. The best story I have about this is when I was living with a family in California, and I was boiling eggs one morning then I went about getting ready for the day and then left the house. I went back at lunch and when I came up to the house I saw firetrucks and a distraught looking landlord. I thought - wow did the house catch on fire. Then a fireman came out with a pot that had burnt eggs on the bottom. The pan was totally black and still smoking. The sad part is I kind of thought it was a little humorous because who calls the firemen because food got over cooked. This lady was extra crazy and I didn't feel bad about what happened. It makes me think I should feel bad about what happened, but I don't. I do feel bad that I can't make good boiled eggs, so the battle rages on.

Because Of You!!!

I have usually had negative interactions with people who work at the gym I would say the same is true for Police. There seems to be this need for ultimate submission and compliance for these two groups of workers. I will say that I am usually less then courteous when interacting with the Police and I can see dealing with idiots all day who don't listen and having to hear one doughnut joke after another would get annoying but what excuse do gym workers have to behave in a condescending, arrogant, and abrasive manor.

A few years ago I was visiting my brother out west and we went to his gym. I had mud on my shoes I tried to wipe them off on the pathetic excuse of a floor mat they had but the mud didn't come off and I didn't think to take them off and lick them clean. After working out for half an hour my brother and I noticed that there was a trail of mud and dried dirt at every piece of work out equipment we had been at and worse there was a trail of bread crumbs leading right to me and even worse was there were very few people in the gym. I went into the locker room to clean them off and then the manager who was this huge muscle-y guy walked in and looked at me and said, "Because of you I have mud all over my gym." For some reason this made me laugh which he didn't care for and then I said something along the lines of, "What do you think I am doing in here? I am cleaning my shoes, do you really think I did that on purpose." Then, I finished my work out making sure to give him dirty looks and saying things to make him mad during the rest of my work out. My brother and I would start our annoying comments with, "Because of you." But I really don't get it. They have this little person who walks around all day with a broom and dust pan or bottle and rag and cleans. Great, now they are making their money.

One of my brothers had a good story about the gym and hopefully he will indulge us by telling it.

For those of you who don't know, I invented a machine that can look into the future and take pictures, and this picture is one I took of my brother Tom.

Max Payne

I have decided to celebrate my 30th birthday by getting an MRI and finding out I will need shoulder surgery in the near future but for now I got shot up with cortisone.

I'm a lumberjack and that's ok...

A new study of the best and worst 200 jobs puts lumberjack at 200. The following beat it out dairy farmer, roustabout, nuclear decontamination tech. So sorry pops but good news Historian made it to number 7.

The Battle Of The Desk Rages On

We reorganized the desks in my office. Before, I was off to the side with my desk next to another teacher I work with. Then, it was decided this was a bad idea for reasons which are still unclear to me. So all the desks of the teachers from my grade level were put into one big heap. It think this was a cleverly planned tactic used to get my desk close to everyone else's because my desk is always clean and empty, so the other teachers can use my desk as a work desk. Now every time I come into the office, there is stuff all over my desk: papers, projects, food, and all kinds of nonsense. My next game plan is to fill up my desk with tons of trash, so it can't be used as a storage center. But what should I put on it?

Tha Battle At The Bathtub

Although giving Calvin a bath has become easier, it is still very difficult to wash his hair. He will sit and play in the bathtub by himself for 20 minutes then I will tell him bath time is over. At this time I soap him down and rinse him off and every other day I wash his hair. At the end of every bath when I start to soap him up he looks at me and very seriously tells me, "Daddy no wash my hair.ok?...ok daddy. no wash my hair...OK." His pleas become more desperate the longer I wait to respond. On the days I inform him that I will not wash his hair he is ecstatic but for those unlucky days when I tell him we have to wash his hair he becomes very distraught and when I actually do wash his hair I feel like I am an interrogator performing some kind of water boarding torture. I am sure the neighbors think the same thing when they hear Calvin cry and complain about getting his hair washed but as soon as it's over he is right as rain and ready to go downstairs and watch "Monster Buster Club" ((his TV program) and drink his milk. Anyway the point of the post is that to combat this situation I have purchased a snorkeling mask to avoid any soap or water from getting in his eyes while washing his hair. I have yet to implement the new weapon though because while he will put on the mask in the tub he will not let me wash his hair with it on.

Mechanization

To combat many daily battles I have decided to become mechanized. We purchased a scooter. It is a Honda Activa, and I chose it because it is what all the delivery guys drive and so I assume it will be reliable and it was cheap and also it will sell easily when we leave. The night I got it I drove it about 40 minutes. I was driving through the city, making my way to the highway, feeling so cool on my scooter when I noticed a guy driving in the next lane with a dog on the back of his scooter with its front paws on the guys shoulders. To top it off, the dog was wearing sunglasses and to add insult to injury, it was at night so the stupid dog didn't even need the glasses. To one up this guy I am going to drive around with Calvin on my shoulders and Harrison on his and they will both be wearing sunglasses.