Pain In My Back!

My back has been killing me lately. Not only do I have to deal with my pain I have to deal with a doubting wife who thinks it a phantom pain. I am about to get my phantom round house kick on.

No More Drama In My Life

I can't wait for the summer, so I can get away from the drama here. The entire year has been filled with drama in my department. My department has 29 teachers in it and I am the only man. It seems every week there is a new feud or something. I am usually just a bystander. No offence to women, but they just can't let things go. I won't bore you with the endless stories, but let me say I can't believe adults in a professional environment act this way.

Thunder Cats HOOOOOOOOO!

If I was going to be a Thundercat I would choose Panthro...I know, I know, it is a controversial choice. Most people would choose Liono, but I like Panthro better he is more thoughtful and calculating. I also think Jack Bauer would choose Panthro.

The Arborist

When I was younger, one of my friends commented that my dad was like superman. My friend made this comment, because for the last 30 plus years my dad has worked two jobs to support his eleven children. During the day he is a mild mannered computer analyst (or something) and on Saturday he transforms into "The Arborist."

On many occasions I would go to work with my dad on Saturday or at night, when there was enough light (and sometimes when there wasn't). My dad even had a uniform. He wore his green shirt with his company logo and blue jeans. Before we left the house he would lace up his work boots, put on his hat, and tell my to hurry up. He never wore gloves, which is probably one of the reasons his hands are so meaty. In the summer he would have to bring an extra shirt to change into, because he would sweat so much.

Saturdays working with my dad were ritualistic. He would drag me out of bed, I would sleep in his truck on the way to the lot where he kept his equipment, but I would wake up momentarily to get breakfast at 7-11. Once we got to the lot, I would put oil and gas in the saws in addition to collecting and organizing the other equipment (rakes, shovels, ropes, etc.). By 7:30 we were on the road to the first job. My dad would arrange the jobs and do estimates during the week after work, so Saturdays were full of tree jobs.

When we got to the job I would get out all the tools and saws while my dad inspected the trees to evaluate the best way to dismantle them. I could almost hear his engineer's brain working out the best way to take the tree apart. He would then climb up the tree like a monkey on caffeine.(As another one of my friends pointed out after mistakenly challenging my dad to a tree climbing race. My dad was at the top of the tree before my friend made it to the third branch.) He would climb to the top of the tree, tie the rope to a branch, and then repel down to the first branch. He would then skin the tree removing all the branches. Often he would have to do a little magic to get the branches to fall where he wanted them to, because we were often working in some one's backyard and he would have to avoid hitting the house or other objects. He would do amazing things with just a rope and cutting the branch a certain way. Often he would do a "jump cut" - that was where he would cut the branch in such a way that it would jump away from the tree and land right where he wanted it to.

Other companies were so impressed with his skills they would recommend him for a job that was "impossible." He would often get work because his company was respected in the community and he got many of his customers by word of mouth. Customers would often comment on how my dad, grandpa, and other family members were good men. I would then have to sit and listen to story after story about them.

My dad also got attention for his skills because he was like an acrobat in the trees. Often the entire neighborhood would come out to watch my dad work. I remember one time he was taking down four trees in someones backyard. Usually after climbing a tree and cutting all the branches off, he would then tie a rope at the top of the trunk and climb down. We would cut the tree at the base, which would direct it where to fall. That was my favorite part - watching the trunk fall to the ground. After he skinned one of the trees in the backyard, he didn't want to climb all the way down and re-climb another tree, so he threw his rope in the next tree and swung over to it. The crowd was amazed. Then after the last tree was done, he did his patented move where he would lower himself out of the tree by his rope, but he would do it so fast and suddenly it seemed like he was falling. This always gave the onlookers a fright.

The tree business is very dangerous, and although I was usually not in danger being a grunt (my jobs were to drag the branches to the chipper when they hit the ground, load the wood on the truck, and clean up the small debris on the ground) I worried for my dad. I remember one time he was climbing and cut a huge branch off a tree and something went wrong and it hit him in the head. He climbed out of the tree with blood dripping down his face, and then calmly got cleaned up and went to the hospital.

My dad was a good boss and treated me fairly. He would buy me breakfast and lunch, which was a big bonus considering we rarely went out to eat. Although the pay was nice and the food was good, the real reason I went to work with my dad was to spend time with him, He was so busy and the best way to spend time with him was to go to work. Sometimes we would have a half hour drive between jobs to talk and we always talked at lunch. It was during these times that my dad and grandpa were able to teach me the important lessons in life - like how to correctly pour salt and pepper on a pizza.

I didn't realize the guys my dad worked with were such a rough bunch, because he was the boss and told them they couldn't curse or talk about inappropriate things around his kids, so for the most part they kept it PG.

When I was a teenager, I had a new found respect for my dad and how much he worked and it also explained why we got pizza every Saturday. Saturday was pizza night in our house. We always got 2 large plain pies from Brother's. My dad didn't do this because he thought it would be a nice treat. He did it because when he got home from working he would be too exhausted to deal with any other kind of meal. After dinner, he would collapse on the couch for the next couple of hours before bed. I know how that exhaustion feels, because I would work half as hard as he did, and would be just as exhausted sitting on the couch. Many Saturdays nights we would both just sit there and stare at the tv, after we got all the saw dust and dirt out of our eyes, ears, and noses. Although, most peoples best memories aren't of working mine are. I often think of those Saturdays with my dad and would give anything to work one of those days again, but maybe not the ones where we had to work in the snow, extreme heat, or the emergency removals during a storm.

Check out my Dark Ages profile!

Day 5 of Op and Debriefing

Day 5
6:00-I woke up with Calvin and made breakfast.
8:00-Another nice goodbye.
1:30-The wife and I get on a bus to go to the doctors.
3:00-I can't take being nice and positive anymore. I give up and tell the wife about the mission and what's been going on. She was actually not too mad.

The Debriefing:
Over the last four and a half days I dedicated every moment to being the perfect husband. I discovered that my actions and attitudes affect my wifes happiness. I was able to successfully increase her happiness, but that did not result in her treating me any different or increasing my happiness.
Before the mission I put 55% effort into being a good husband and she put 65% into being a good wife. During the mission I put in 100% and she put in 60%. So in economic terms I did not get a positive return on my investment. As sad as it is it does not pay to be nice.

Day 4 of Op

The Briefing:
I had another good day acting like the perfect husband. Listening to the my wifes dream was the most difficult thing I have had to do so far. I am glad there is only one more day of the mission I don't think I could take anymore. I have done really good with a lot of the small things around the house. I always clean up and try to be the first one to clean up a spill or take care of Calvin.

Day 4:
6:30-I wake up with Calvin and make breakfast. During breakfast I entertain a conversation with my wife about a dream she had. It went on for ten minutes, but I have no idea what it was about. I think I did a good job pretending to be interested.
8:00-Another nice goodbye
4:30-I play with Calvin while the wife makes a dish for a party she is going to at night.
5:30-I brought Calvin shopping.
6:00-The wife goes to her party.
7:00-I come home from shopping and hang with Calvin for the night.
12:00-The wife comes home and wakes me up while getting ready for bed.

Day 3 of Op

The Briefing:
I was able to remain positive and supportive during the day. I avoided saying or doing anything negative. Although I have been doing everything in my power to be a perfect husband it seems it has little affect on my wifes attitude and actions.

Day 3:
6:30- The wife got up with Calvin.
7:00- I made breakfast.
8:00- Another nice goodbye.
3:30- I scared her when she got home. I was hiding in the drapes and when she walked in the back door I jumped out and scared her. (This is actually a good thing, because she thinks its funny to be scared) Then we talked for a few minutes until Calvin got up.
4:00-Calvin got up and we did a family activity that I planned. We played games, listened to songs, and talked.
5:30-I made dinner
6:00-The wife went for a walk with Calvin
7:30-I gave Calvin a bath and put him to bed.
8:30-We watched 30 Rock and talked. I offered to rub her shoulders, but she said no. She was in a bad mood last night.

Day 1 and 2 of Op

The Briefing:
Over the past two days I was successful in going above and beyond in my role as a husband. I made sure I spent a lot of time with Calvin allowing my wife time to relax. I also allowed us to have time as a family during meals and other times of the day. I made sure I had meaningful conversations with my wife about her day and things she wanted to discuss. I was able to avoid saying anything negative and only offered positive comments. I also tried to put my wife first when making decisions that affected both of us, like when to work out or what show to watch. I haven't been doing everything around the house, because it would create and in balance in the house, but I am offering support and doing as much as possible to make her happy. She has become suspicious of my behavior, but I don't think it will affect the mission.

Day 1:
6:30-I got up with Calvin and prepared breakfast at the table for the family. It was only cereal, but it was appreciated and we spent quality time as a family.
8:00- I gave the wife a hug and kiss goodbye in the morning. I made sure I was positive and happy all morning.
4:00-Arrived home from work and played with Calvin, so the wife could relax.
5:30-I made pasta and salad and we had a relaxing dinner.
6:00-Wife went out for a fun time with Calvin.
7:00-I gave Calvin a bath and the put him to bed.
8:00-I downloaded the wife's favorite shows instead of mine. She had a fun time as we laughed and talked.

Day 2:
6:30-I tell wife to keep sleeping while I got up with Calvin. I made crepes, which turned out to be very good. Calvin got her up for breakfast.
8:00-Another heart felt goodbye and I was positive all morning again.
4:30-I played with Calvin so the wife could relax again then she went on a walk with Calvin and a friend.
6:30-We had another nice family dinner. I made sure I was involved in the conversation and positive.
7:00-I took Calvin for a walk.
7:30-I gave Calvin a bath, so the wife could continue emailing.
8:00-Again I downloaded her favorite shows and we had a good conversation.

Operation Pink Flamingo

I decided to go on the offensive in my Battle at Home. I planned and am now implementing Operation Pink Flamingo. I notified my wife not to read my blog and have kept this operation top secret from the enemy. This could lead to a whole other battle when I am discovered.

Duration: 5 Days
Mission Objectives: Infiltrate the enemy to gain first hand knowledge of their tactics.
Mission Plan: I will spend 5 days acting like a perfect husband. This includes waking up with Calvin everyday, making breakfast, hugging and kissing her multiple times a day, cleaning the house, and avoiding doing all the things that bother her like leaving the cabinet doors open. I will also be over positive and optimistic. I will avoid saying anything negative and only offer positive words and ideas.

Mission Breifing: My reason for doing this is to see how much energy it will cost me to make my wife as happy as I possibly can everyday. I also want to see how much my actions affect her happiness and in return how that will affect my happiness.